If I Could Be Where You Are

Classes went well.  It was so good to see everyone again!  I teared up for one brief moment during a class this morning with one of the boys who reminded me so much of William.  The hardest part of the day was during "William's class."  There was a point when I looked out at the class and thought, "He should be here."  William should be here, telling Oreo to "walk on."  He should be here, laughing with Miss Sue over what to call the horse.  He should be here, counting Oreo's steps from the number on the dice.  He should be here.

We had a long talk about whether or not to retire Oreo.  In the end, we decided it wouldn't be the right thing to do.  It wouldn't be good for her (she's such a great horse) and it wouldn't be what William would've wanted.  He was always so happy to share her!  He was always so glad to have others enjoy their ride on her.  Abby intentionally paired him with another little boy who has stolen her heart.  I was happy to see him ride today.

I held up and kept it together pretty well today.  But when the day was over, it was a different story.  I gave in to the grief.  Just for a bit.  This song describes a little of the longing.  Except the "I don't know where you are" part.  I do know where he is.  I just can't get to him yet.

Lyrics:

Where are you this moment?
Only in my dreams.
You're missing, but you're always
A heartbeat from me.
I'm lost now without you,
I don't know where you are.
I keep watching, I keep hoping,
But time keeps us apart

Is there a way I can find you,
Is there a sign I should know,
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home?

Winter lies before me
Now you're so far away.
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay

If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you
And bring you back home
Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I can follow
To bring you back home to me