Homesick

I found this song on a Bereaved Parents site.  It's kind of a joke among some parents because of the first line.  All Christians know that to die is to live in Christ.  That this world is not our home.  That we're longing for a better place.  I think that when people don't know what to say, they reach for something, anything that might bring comfort.  Hence the "in a better place" comment.

But that doesn't bring comfort from the pain of MISSING them, does it?  Sure, it's wonderful to know we'll be reunited but we still have to get through the NOW.  I think that's why I like this song, even though I've not been a huge fan of the group.  It's the NOW that's hard, the missing, the brokenness, the homesickness.

As I've been questioning and wondering all the "why's," I've come to realize exactly what this song says.  It wouldn't matter.  Even if God sat down and drew out His plan for me exactly, it would still hurt.  I would still miss William.  Knowing everything wouldn't change it a bit.

I see his face so often.  I still hear his little voice.  Just the other day, in tears, one of my daughters told me that she's beginning to forget his voice.  That's the worst part...knowing that it will all fade with time.  The sweet moments, quirky gestures, beautiful laugh...those memories will get harder and harder to recall.  And it's like losing him all over again.

Lyrics:

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now