Forever...

Missing, loving, remembering...always.

Friendship

I just wanted to take the opportunity to say thank you.  We have been so very blessed during this time of profound grieving.  God has been so good to us and I never want to lose sight of that, even when the hurt seems overwhelming.  I am tempted to list you all by name, but I am afraid I will miss someone.  But for all the special memories shared about William, meals, flowers, care packages, thoughtful notes and emails, prayers, texts, and sweet words...thank you.  From the depth of my soul, thank you.  In the midst of deep, deep darkness, you have a been a soft light.  In short, thank you all for just being here for us.

We have been blessed to have friends who are used to bearing one another's burdens, but I have never felt it so keenly as I have this past year.  Even as we've retreated, your love has abounded.  Thank you.

If you know someone who is grieving and you don't know how to be a comfort, this little toolbox might be helpful:

Disclaimer on #9: I don't know how true this is.  I actually feel a little crazy.  :)  With all the forgetfulness, mind fog, emotional roller coasters...I'm not 100% sure that this one is accurate.

Thursday

It's a weird day.  I feel so....stuck.  I know I am in a rut.  I know it was unwise of me to expect that, one year later, this day would feel different.  But it's not.  It's just as strange as the rest of them.

I feel so disconnected.  I can't seem to "plug in" to my life.  I know it sounds weird.  It feels weird.

My life has become a series of procrastinations, a general feeling that things will get better after.... I don't know what.  The next milestone.  The next trip.  The next move.  The next project.

I know I need the Lord to move in my life.  And in my children's lives.  And in Michael's life.

It's not happening.

I want to find joy.  Contentment.  Expectation.  Will.  I want to eliminate this heaviness.  And apathy.

That's not happening either.

Why?  Is it something we are doing or not doing?  I don't know.  Are we stiff-necked?  Are we not receiving?  Have we just not given ourselves enough time?  Ugh.  I do not know.  I just know it causes a general feeling of agitation and tiredness.  Anxiety.

Are you anxious, too?  I do not have answers.  But I know the One who does.  And I will continue to cry to Him until He calms my heart.

I will trust Him.  The calm will come.

Tiger Safari

On the anniversary of Willliam's death our family decided to do something fun together. We went to Tiger Safari! It's very similar to a zoo but you can get closer to the animals and interact with some of them. We were the only ones there and had a wonderful, relaxing time.

We were greeted by the parrots, who had a great time showing off for us.

We had fun feeding the deer!

Titus and Adelina enjoyed riding the dinosaur in the gift shop.

The keeper woke up the kinkajou for us. Isn't he cute?!

Wallace is so good with Titus and enjoyed helping him around the park.

They have a fairly large monitor in the reptile house!

The big cats were not sure what to make of Maya. A couple of them stalked her!

The kids also enjoyed feeding the monkeys and lemurs.

Maya made a friend!

Break time!

Our family actually visited Tiger Safari 11 years ago and we were happy to see that Koda, the bear, was still there!

The otter was so cute and friendly! Who could resist shaking his hand when he stuck his paw through the fence?! Sydnee says she wants a pet otter now! :)

Knox and Adelina watching the kangaroo

The emus were so funny! One of them actually got Sydnee's phone when she was trying to take his picture!

There are lots of big cats there, but I've saved my favorite for last......the white tigers!

The kids got to see some tiger behavior.

To prove I was there! :)

After we left Tiger Safari we went to a specialty doughnut shop. Their doughnuts are so good!

posted by Sarah