Thursday, May 26, 2016

Who You Are

Today has been one of those strange days.  There is no special reason today should have been so emotional for me.  I just can't breathe.  God, I miss that sweet face.

That voice.  That smile.  Those tiny hands.  And skinny arms.  I miss him crawling into my lap at night.  I miss him lying beside me, intertwining his arms with mine.  I miss hearing him say, "Yep!" I miss the ornery and the fun and the mischievous.

I'm struggling.  I still bounce back and forth from being angry that he's not here to knowing that I did not deserve such an incredible gift.  My mind will drift into dark, dark territory, if I do not turn it to the truths that I know.  There's so little that I know, but I do know Him.  And for that I'm thankful.

Lyrics:
All she wanted, was a baby to hold,
And she's still waiting, at forty-one years old,
Her life feels like a tragedy,
And its driving her down to her knees
She's praying "I don't know, 
I don't know what you're doing,
But I know who you are."

It was after midnight, when he answered the phone,
The doctor said his daughter, was never coming home,
Sometimes life doesn't make any sense, of war and pain
And accident, he's praying "I don't know, 
I don't know what you're doing, 
But I know who you are."

You are the father's heart, and a love that's wild,
And you know what it's like to lose, 
Yeah you know what it's like to lose, 
What it's like to lose a child,

Sometimes I don't know, 
I don't know what you're doing,
I don't know, I don't know what you're doing, 
But I know who you are.