Thursday, May 19, 2016

Good, Good Father

It's Thursday again.  I actually slept last night.  Not the entire night, but enough that I didn't get out of bed.  That's something.  Maybe it's because I'm sick.  Maybe it's because yesterday was such an emotional day.  I don't know, but I am glad for it.  My body was screaming for rest.
Yesterday was an odd day.  Seven months without my sweet guy.  We spent it in Norman, watching them put the patina on the memorial, an interesting process.  I am happy with the memorial.  It doesn't look like William, exactly.  More like an older version.  But I'm happy with it.  It is an excellent reminder of his joy in what he is doing now.  I've been fairly hush, hush about it, but I'm really ready to show it.  I'll wait though.  It is done and ready to come home, but the base needs another 20 days or so.  I'll post pictures/video of the process after we do the installation.  We are planning to install Friday, June 17.
Yesterday I read a group discussion over angels vs. saints.  I don't know why so many feel that children become angels when they die.  The discussion was very good, though.  No theological put downs.  No emotional anger.  Just pure, honest discussion.  And through it all, a great peace came over me as I remembered...William was created to be a saint.  Higher than the angels.  He is the bride of Christ.  He always wanted to be married.  :)
William's race is finished.  His place in my heart is not.  But I am coming to peace with it.  I can no longer feel his sweet, warm touch, but I can feel the grief left behind.  And it's becoming a strange sort of friend.

Lyrics:
Oh, I've heard a thousand stories
Of what they think You're like
But I've heard the tender whisper
Of love in the dead of night
And You tell me that You're pleased
And that I'm never alone

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

Oh, and I've seen many searching
For answers far and wide
But I know we're all searching
For answers only You provide
‘Cause You know just what we need
Before we say a word

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

Cause You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways to us

You are perfect in all of Your ways
Oh, You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways to us

Oh, it's love so undeniable
I, I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable
I, I can hardly think
As You call me deeper still
As You call me deeper still
As You call me deeper still
Into love, love, love

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

You're a good good Father
It's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am
You're a good good Father

You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways
You are perfect in all of Your ways