Uncertainty

I posted on FB awhile back that I needed help with the bronze company.  I couldn't find anyone to do what I wanted for William's memorial.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I could, but not at a price that we could afford.  Not even close.

Several friends helped out and made suggestions.  Isn't FB wonderful, for that purpose?  A friend of mine that I haven't actually laid eyes on in 10+ years suggested a guy that actually lives in our state (thanks, Lisa)!  We've been working with him on getting an idea together.  He's been so patient, kind, and willing to help us work through our struggles.  He actually went to William's blog, read through some things, and got to know William a little.  Of all the bronze artists I contacted, he is the only one to do that.  It makes me feel so good about using him.  I'm sure he will be able to capture the likeness of our sweet William.

It was hard to let go of the idea of the wheelchair, but when push came to shove, we just couldn't afford the price tag.  So he helped us come up with another idea.  I'm not going to share it at this time, but I just wanted to share the good news that we are finally underway.  We are working with the sign company and will hopefully have that part squared away and ordered today.  Next is the concrete base, which is also in the works.  We hope to install the concrete base/sign on or before his birthday, April 8.  I am hopeful that the bronze statue will be installed by October.

Here's the unsure part.  I just went back and forth and back and forth over what the statue should look like.  I wasn't sure if I wanted it to look like William or just some random boy.  It seems odd to put a random boy out there, but I didn't want to have the appearance of setting up a shrine or idol, either.  After much wrestling over the matter and some good counsel, we finally settled on making it look like William.  Well, as much as they can.  It's like his final portrait.  And really, I guess it's not much different than putting an actual picture of him on the memorial stone.

This has been a good process.  It's given me something to do for my sweet son.  I am so used to taking care of his needs, fighting for him...I needed something to do for him.  It's been a healing process.  I'm sure it'll be difficult when there's nothing left I can do for him.