I can honestly say, I hope no one uses me as a role model. I pray my children model after Christ, their perfect Savior, and not their very imperfect mother. I have been very convicted today by my attitude regarding insurance. I let frustration get the best of me instead of focusing on the blessing that abounds in my life. God has always supplied our every need. William has never gone without medical treatment, medication, or equipment. Sherrod has never gone without medical treatment, medication, or equipment. I've never had to watch my child struggle to live because we couldn't meet their needs or get them medical treatment. None of our children have ever wanted for food, clothing, or shelter. Even when things were hard, God has always made a way. It's the reason we chose not to go with SSI to begin with...because we wanted to fully rely on Him. Others may have made a different decision and that's okay. This one was ours. And He's NEVER let us down. And He never will. I know that. We don't trust in Michael's job or our insurance or money itself. We trust in Someone much bigger than all of that. Someone Who controls it all. He never promised it would be easy. He never promised we would be able to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. He never promised we wouldn't have to work or sacrifice. But He did promise to supply all our need according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus. And THAT I can rest in.
May the Lord continue to grow me in strength of faith and character in the coming year.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Frustration
So...I kind of dropped off of my posting here because so many of my family and friends are on FB. It was easier to just post everything there because I always post from my mobile. But, as you can tell, I've gone back to the blog. After William's most recent scary episode, Michael felt it would be better to keep everything about William here on his blog (and some tidbits about our family). So here I am again! :) That said, for those of you who are friends with me on FB, you know the frustration we've had with our insurance over Sherrod's insulin. Grrr... We've often fought with them over William's needs, too. It seems that our insurance company views my children as lab rats. Experiment to see what works so they don't have to pay out the money we've already paid in if they can keep from it. Why am I so frustrated about this today, you might ask? Well, William's nebulizer quit today. In my panic to get another one before his next treatment, Michael and I ran to the pharmacy and, you guessed it, the pharmacist informed us that our insurance does not cover his nebulizer. Of course, we got it for him anyway. The same as we did with his Vest. AND with his Cough Assist. AND with assistive walking devices. I'm wondering if they aren't trying to force us into Government controlled healthcare? We've never taken SSI/disability for William for SEVERAL reasons. Would private insurance try to force us into this? Anyone have any experience or thoughts?
Anyway, William got his new nebulizer. His last one was a plain ol' grey, drab nebulizer. This one is a cool kangaroo one and he was pretty excited!
The pouch holds the neb cup when not in use. Pretty cool, huh? :)
Anyway, William got his new nebulizer. His last one was a plain ol' grey, drab nebulizer. This one is a cool kangaroo one and he was pretty excited!
The pouch holds the neb cup when not in use. Pretty cool, huh? :)
Monday, December 29, 2014
3 week x-ray
Well, today was the day. The 3 week mark. The day for William's x-ray. I really expected it to be clear, as he is doing so much better. But it wasn't. There is still one small spot in that right lobe. Ugh! A new medicine and 3 more weeks. The good news is that the homebound restriction is technically lifted. The bad news is a new illness could be really, really bad, so we still have to be very careful. So....3 more weeks. Sigh.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Anyway Love
Okay, so I admitted yesterday that I've been struggling. Wondering if my faith is as strong as I believed it was. Today, I was looking over William's blog and I noticed several "draft" posts that never got posted. The one that follows was in there from February 2010. I don't remember it and it's especially strange because I see no reason why I would post it on William's blog. I don't know where it came from or I would cite the author...
On Valentine's Day, Meg went all out, giving her husband, Peter, his favorite candy and tickets to a hockey game. Later that night, she wrapped herself in a special outfit purchased just for the occasion.
Peter got her a card.
At the grocery store.
That he purchased on the way home from work.
He didn't add anything to it, either. He just signed it, "Peter."
A couple of days later, Meg tried to explain that she felt a little taken for granted. Apparently, Peter misunderstood her intent because two months later, when they celebrated their anniversary, Peter didn't get Meg anything.
"How could you not get me anything for our anniversary?" she asked Peter the next day. "Especially after our conversation about Valentine's Day."
"Well, I thought about getting you something, but it didn't work out," he replied. "And then I knew not to get you a card because you said you didn't like that last time."
"It's not that I didn't like the card. It's that the card alone seemed a little sparse. But even that is better than nothing ..."
Several months later, Meg had a birthday. This time, Peter got her a present – a kitchen tool set. Several weeks before, Meg had asked to borrow Peter's tape measure and screwdriver. Peter figured that Meg should have her own small set of kitchen tools so she didn't have to borrow his.
Meg recounted all this and then explained how she had tried to get her husband to read several how-to books on loving your spouse. He would read the first few pages, lose interest and never pick the book up again.
"I've realized this is never going to change," she confessed. "But I love him anyway."
...Because
That last statement of Meg's, "but I love him anyway," is one of the most profound theological statements on marriage I've ever heard. Most of us base love on because, not on anyway. I love you because you're good to me. I love you because you're kind, because you're considerate, because you keep the romance alive.
But in Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says we shouldn't love because. We should love anyway. If we love someone because that person is good to us, or gives back to us, or is kind to us, we're acting no better than anyone else. In essence, Jesus is saying you don't need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary – not just the anniversary of your marriage, but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss. Any woman could love a man like that. Or if you love a wife who lavishes you with sports gifts, who goes out of her way to make you comfortable when you get home from work and who wants sex anytime you do – well, you're doing what any man would do. There's no special credit in that!
But if you love a spouse who disappoints you, who can be a little self-absorbed – now you're loving anyway. In doing that, you're following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.
... Or Anyway
Will you love only because? Or are you willing to love anyway? Will you love a man or woman who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn't nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?
Just about every faithless marriage is based on because love. Christians are called to anyway love. That's what makes us different. That's what gives glory to God. That's what helps us appreciate God's love for us, because God loves us anyway. He gives and gives and gives – and we take Him for granted. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to notice Him. He is good to us, and we accuse Him mercilessly when something doesn't go just the way we planned it.
But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.
That's love, the way God intended it.
This really made me think of God's love and my love for Him. Do I love HIM anyway? It's easy to love Him because...because He blesses me, because He takes care of my needs, because He protects me, because my life is easy. The hard part comes on the anyway. When times are hard, do I love Him anyway? When I don't understand, do I love Him anyway? When I am angry and hurt and broken, do I love Him anyway? Do I understand that He is in control of all things AND that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose? Do I trust His plan?
Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend and sharing my doubts of myself with her. She lovingly reminded me that no one is able to bear hard things well, except for the grace of God. God gives grace as it's needed. Right now there are certain graces I don't need, but there are many that I DO need. God gives me the graces I need in the time I need it. (Thanks, Tanya!) I do feel reassured. I'm still struggling with my sleep, but I am praying through that, as well. Fear still grips my heart at times, but I'll keep praying through that, too. God's grace. God's timing. Perseverance.
I'll end with this song that has become a favorite of mine. A friend sent it to me when I was in my 38-hour labor with Titus. :) By the grace of God, may I always be able to say, though He slay me...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyUPz6_TciY&list=RDqyUPz6_TciY
P.S. Until today, I had only heard the song, not the message from Piper. God is good all the time. I feel as though He is bringing things together to reassure me. Praises to Him.
On Valentine's Day, Meg went all out, giving her husband, Peter, his favorite candy and tickets to a hockey game. Later that night, she wrapped herself in a special outfit purchased just for the occasion.
Peter got her a card.
At the grocery store.
That he purchased on the way home from work.
He didn't add anything to it, either. He just signed it, "Peter."
A couple of days later, Meg tried to explain that she felt a little taken for granted. Apparently, Peter misunderstood her intent because two months later, when they celebrated their anniversary, Peter didn't get Meg anything.
"How could you not get me anything for our anniversary?" she asked Peter the next day. "Especially after our conversation about Valentine's Day."
"Well, I thought about getting you something, but it didn't work out," he replied. "And then I knew not to get you a card because you said you didn't like that last time."
"It's not that I didn't like the card. It's that the card alone seemed a little sparse. But even that is better than nothing ..."
Several months later, Meg had a birthday. This time, Peter got her a present – a kitchen tool set. Several weeks before, Meg had asked to borrow Peter's tape measure and screwdriver. Peter figured that Meg should have her own small set of kitchen tools so she didn't have to borrow his.
Meg recounted all this and then explained how she had tried to get her husband to read several how-to books on loving your spouse. He would read the first few pages, lose interest and never pick the book up again.
"I've realized this is never going to change," she confessed. "But I love him anyway."
...Because
That last statement of Meg's, "but I love him anyway," is one of the most profound theological statements on marriage I've ever heard. Most of us base love on because, not on anyway. I love you because you're good to me. I love you because you're kind, because you're considerate, because you keep the romance alive.
But in Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says we shouldn't love because. We should love anyway. If we love someone because that person is good to us, or gives back to us, or is kind to us, we're acting no better than anyone else. In essence, Jesus is saying you don't need the Holy Spirit to love a man who remembers every anniversary – not just the anniversary of your marriage, but the anniversary of your first date and your first kiss. Any woman could love a man like that. Or if you love a wife who lavishes you with sports gifts, who goes out of her way to make you comfortable when you get home from work and who wants sex anytime you do – well, you're doing what any man would do. There's no special credit in that!
But if you love a spouse who disappoints you, who can be a little self-absorbed – now you're loving anyway. In doing that, you're following the model of the heavenly Father, who loves the ungrateful and the wicked.
... Or Anyway
Will you love only because? Or are you willing to love anyway? Will you love a man or woman who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice? Will you love a husband or wife who takes you for granted? Will you love a spouse who isn't nearly as kind to you as you are to him or her?
Just about every faithless marriage is based on because love. Christians are called to anyway love. That's what makes us different. That's what gives glory to God. That's what helps us appreciate God's love for us, because God loves us anyway. He gives and gives and gives – and we take Him for granted. He is eager to meet with us, and we get too busy to notice Him. He is good to us, and we accuse Him mercilessly when something doesn't go just the way we planned it.
But God loves us anyway. To love anyway is to love like God – and to learn about God's love for us.
That's love, the way God intended it.
This really made me think of God's love and my love for Him. Do I love HIM anyway? It's easy to love Him because...because He blesses me, because He takes care of my needs, because He protects me, because my life is easy. The hard part comes on the anyway. When times are hard, do I love Him anyway? When I don't understand, do I love Him anyway? When I am angry and hurt and broken, do I love Him anyway? Do I understand that He is in control of all things AND that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose? Do I trust His plan?
Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend and sharing my doubts of myself with her. She lovingly reminded me that no one is able to bear hard things well, except for the grace of God. God gives grace as it's needed. Right now there are certain graces I don't need, but there are many that I DO need. God gives me the graces I need in the time I need it. (Thanks, Tanya!) I do feel reassured. I'm still struggling with my sleep, but I am praying through that, as well. Fear still grips my heart at times, but I'll keep praying through that, too. God's grace. God's timing. Perseverance.
I'll end with this song that has become a favorite of mine. A friend sent it to me when I was in my 38-hour labor with Titus. :) By the grace of God, may I always be able to say, though He slay me...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyUPz6_TciY&list=RDqyUPz6_TciY
P.S. Until today, I had only heard the song, not the message from Piper. God is good all the time. I feel as though He is bringing things together to reassure me. Praises to Him.
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