Camping

Well, I'm definitely late in posting!  That's a good thing, though.  I SLEPT last night.  AND VERY SOUNDLY!

We had a great time camping at Natural Falls last week!  It was a much-needed break from reality.

We are definitely a "camping" type family.  Well, with the exception of poor Sarah.  But she tolerates it well...

The girls picked a site right by the park, which was super nice.

They didn't have the net up yet, but that didn't stop our crew from volleying around a little.

Dominoes was the choice game of this trip.

We found out that Andrew is quite the hiker.  His key phrase of the week was, "I GOT IT!"  He did NOT want my help.  😂

Remember this observation deck...😜

We had a great time around the fire.  Abby is definitely a champion marshmallow roaster.

Breakfast was interesting.  Michael cooked over the camp grill while Abby handled the items over the open fire, Sydnee had the camp stove, and Sherrod put things together for everyone.  Where was Sarah, one might ask?  Well, um, ahem, she spent her mornings "getting ready for the day."  And don't think for one second that everyone didn't give her a hard time about it.  😂 She's so good-natured...😍

Remember the observation deck? Well, Sarah refused to stand on it when everyone else was on it (for those who don't know she has a fierce fear of heights...).  Later, she went back to it, alone, to try to get a great picture of the falls.  I stood just off to the side of it and snapped this shot, but as soon as I ventured out onto the deck, she was done and off she came!  You notice, she wouldn't go all the way out, right? 😜

And, just for fun, who can resist this ornery face?  This little boy...oh, my heart.  I love to listen to him pray!  The other night he was praying, "...and Cannon not get better, even we take him to doctor, but he died and I miss him..."  Yep, I'm pretty much wrapped around his little finger!

And this man...wow.  I am incredibly blessed.  Especially as my girls get older, my hope, prayer, and desire for them is to find a man who is like their own father in godliness, devotion, loyalty, and character.  But he IS one in a million...😍

We stayed out of the rain by heading over to a hotel for one night and playing at Incredible Pizza.  We had so much fun!

At the trampoline park...

Playing games...

Riding rides...

Laser tag...

Bowling...

No picture, but Calvin got his first strike! Sherrod did, however, get this fun video of him getting close...

Go karts...

Bumper cars...

Miniature golf (a first for the littles)...

We had a great time, but we might be slightly tired...😋 And there's no slowing down until the new year! 😁

3 Years in Memory Lane

Three years.

It hardly seems possible that we’ve navigated these 1,096 days without our sweet, little boy. 

One of the things to get used to is, there's nothing new.  I have the memories and I can look back on fun times, but there aren't new ones to be had with him.

I miss him terribly.

I know I have tried desperately, without success, to fill the gap he left behind.  Maybe some of the ways have been unhealthy.  I'm trying not to let my new, unimproved self entirely drive my husband crazy. 😜

I can't help but feel our family is incomplete.  Maybe it will always feel that way.

Looking back over the last several months, there are some distinct changes that I notice.  One, I don't wish I was dead everyday.  I know that might be a shocking thing to say, but it's painfully honest.  In the beginning, if it was possible for a person to just will themselves dead, I believe I could have done so.  I don't feel that way anymore.  Thankfully.  I can honestly look to the future with joy, even though there is still so much pain.  Two, I have noticed that I am able to tell William's story as more of a matter of fact than a painfully raw current event.  Three, I don't completely avoid his pictures anymore.  It used to be impossible for me to look at them without sobbing violently.  Sometimes I will still break into an ugly cry, but usually it's just quiet tears now.  All three things tell me that I am learning to navigate this part of life that I never wanted.

So, speaking of pictures, I've been going through them all week.  Here's a small look back at some favorites, in no particular order...

Beautiful boy.  Beautiful life.  Beautiful friends.  

I also found these videos, both from his last hospital stay in 2014, that are just so very precious to me.  They both bring joy to my heart...

I'm thankful for each memory.  I'm so thankful for all of our sweet friends who have walked this journey with us.  There are those who miss him dearly and ache right along with us and I can't even begin to say how dear you are to us.  

It's been a long 3 years, yet it seems like yesterday.  Is it possible to actually miss him more with each passing day?