Thursday, September 13, 2018

Memories

I deactivated my FB account last week.

It's something Michael and I have talked about for a long time but I kept it open, mostly to run Right Path stuff.  But there are several staff members running that now, so it just seemed like time.

In some ways, I'm glad it's gone.  There's quite a bit of drama on FB. 😜 And, to be blunt, FB kind of makes me lose all faith in the intelligence of people.  It makes me even more cynical than I naturally am and that's hard for ANYONE to put up with! 😂

But there is one thing about FB that I miss incredibly.  In fact, it caught me by surprise how much I would long for it.  ON THIS DAY.  I love FB memories.  I love checking my phone every morning and being greeted with some antic that my children have done from years past.  It's like watching them grow all over again.

And I treasure, long for, even crave those memory pop-ups of William.  That is the one thing that  actually makes it painful.

I feel like these things that should be so simple just shouldn't be so hard.  But somehow, letting it go feels like letting him go.  I look for connection with him everywhere.  It's so hard to only have memories...

The children have started picking his favorite songs for bedtime singing again.  I don't know if they remember “his favorites” or if it has any special meaning for them or not.  Occasionally Wallace will comment on something being William's favorite or something William did or liked, but no one younger than him really says anything.  And Andrew wouldn't know it, of course, but the song he is currently stuck on was one of William's favorites.  He Arose.  Funnily enough, they sing it the same way.  Every night when I hear Ru sing that song, I am reminded of William.  They both lag just slightly behind.  It is precious.  I don't have the best video, but it made me think of this small clip of William singing it.

Oh, that sweet voice!   Yep, I'm clinging to those memories...