The Story of Us #24

This week, Michael and I celebrated our 24th anniversary.  Truthfully, it doesn't seem like it's been that long.  I just can't believe the years have gone by so quickly.

We have had some of the very best times together.  We have also gone through some of the worst things imaginable.  It definitely hasn't always been easy.  It has certainly been a process of sanctification for us both.  But, at the end of the day, I'm so thankful and blessed that I get to walk this life with my best friend.

He can still figure out how to surprise me... (sort of)

And we're blessed with the sweetest children...

Sarah caught this fun succession of photos of Michael trying to convince me of something or other... 😂

I'm so glad we have a lot of fun together!  I have to admit, he's the fun one (usually).  I'm just along for the ride.

Okay, so here's the story I promised last week.  A story about patience and waiting.

I'm going to tell on myself here.  For those who don't already know, this is the level of my patience.  It really hasn't changed over the years, either.  I still like to be in control of all things, know what's going on, dislike surprises, etc.

Michael and I worked for the same company.  That was how we met.  We actually had plans to set each other up with friends, originally, although neither plan worked out.  LOL!

Turns out, I was looking for a church, so he invited me to come with him.  We started hanging out in April, just friends and mostly in groups, for several months.  He finally asked me out (on a real date) in September.  I always say that he could have asked me to marry him on that day and I would've said, "Yes," but he made me wait THREE WHOLE MONTHS!!! 😂😂😂

And that's the truth.  I already knew at that point that he was exactly what I wanted, but he was much more reserved and cautious than I was.  So we dated.  We spent every single possible moment together for half of September, all of October and November, and by December I had had all the waiting I wanted.  😝

Now, 3 months is a significant amount of time for anyone, but for a person with my level of patience, well, it's just FOREVER...

I already knew that he had broken things off with a couple of ladies who wanted more of a relationship than he did and, to be frank, I wasn't into wasting time.  (Haha! Some things never change!) I knew I wanted to get married and to have children and I was not getting any younger!!!  Okay, I was 20, but, hey...aren't all young people ready to start their "real" life????

Anyway, one night I pinned him down.  I wanted to know where things were headed or if I was wasting my time.  He was pretty speechless at first but eventually got a few words out that he was serious about pursuing a relationship that would end in marriage.  Funny thing is, he typically runs the other way when someone pins him down on something.  Seriously.  I mean, opposite direction entirely.  He becomes a stonewall and there's no getting through.  And he says he thought about not giving me an answer, playing it cool, and just making me wait, but he was afraid I would break things off (which I absolutely would have) and then where would he be?  What I didn't know at the time was that he had rings at the jewelers, being designed but wanted to surprise me.  But surprises are so overrated!!!!

Three weeks later he asked me to marry him.  For some odd reason, everyone told us we needed a minimum of 6 months to plan the wedding so we set the date for July.  We SOOOOOO did not need 6 months.  Maybe 2 weeks.  Ugh.  But, we waited.  So, July it is...

See...I can wait.  I just needed to know there was something worth waiting for. 😉

So here we are, 24 years later.  He's still the one who makes my heart skip a beat.  He's still the one I count on.  He's still my most trusted confidant.  And I'm still his biggest fan.  (And he's mine). 😍  I only wish I had met him sooner...😘

This past week I've been thinking about what it is that's kept us together and happy through all of these years, all of the ups and downs, peaks and valleys.  Of course, the short answer is, God.  But I wanted to give a small list of things we've done that have been beneficial to our marriage.  Some of the things we just kind of knew from being Christians, but we actually talked about putting them into practice so we both knew where things stood.  Many of the things we learned from a Marriage Retreat we went to when we hit a particularly rough spot.  

1) Put God first, always.  He comes before the marriage.  Before children.  Before holidays.  Before events.  Seriously, FIRST.

2) Marriage isn't 50/50.  Both people have to give it 100%.  A friend of mine used to say, "You either give 100% or you fail 100%."

3) Divorce is never an option.  The marriage covenant is a solemn vow and it is absolutely "until death do us part."  Don't make threats...

4) Don't share personal problems.  If you need to talk to someone about issues, make sure it's a professional.  Your friends (or family) never need to hear your dirty laundry.  You'll forgive.  It won't be so easy for them.

5) Forgive and forget.  The past is in the past.  Take the time that it takes to work on an issue, but once you hash it out, don't keep bringing it back up.  This one I actually learned from watching a married couple before we married.  She kept a calendar of every time he hurt her or did something she didn't like and would bring it out every time they argued.  Every.  Single.  Time.  Obviously their marriage did not last.

6) Choose to love, even when it isn't deserved.

7) Speak well of each other.  Don't lie, but let the good things be heard.  Compliment each other, especially in private.

8) Don't put yourself in compromising situations or where there could be an "appearance of evil."

9) Be content with what you have.  Be gentle.  Anger destroys relationships.

10)  If the grass is greener on the other side, maybe it's because there's more work being put into it.

I'm sure there's more, but that's a pretty good baseline. 

Here's wishing all my friends a healthy, happy, Christ-honoring, love-filled marriage! 😍 And a very happy anniversary to my man!

A little disclaimer, this list is for a Christian marriage.  Abusive situations are different and I understand that.  This list is not for the abused.