Changes

Change is good. It’s a must to move forward. I mean, children grow, they are no longer babies and one day they are adults, ready to begin the cycle all over again. It’s the way things are supposed to be.  And I feel like I’ve always been good with that. Joyful with each new stage, each new growth, each new moving on. But some things are harder now. I will feel like I’m coasting along just fine, enjoying life, living in peace, when, all of a sudden, something makes grief rear it’s ugly head again.

This week it’s William’s bed. Titus has decided he is ready for a “big boy” bed, which means William’s bottom bunk. It’s odd how so many nights that empty bed has caused me grief, yet the thought of it not being there is so, so difficult. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been constantly empty these last 2 1/2 years...Wallace slept in it for a bit with William’s things after William first passed. I believe Calvin and Knox did, too. Adelina has been in and out of it for awhile. But it’s always been his. Giving it up entirely is excruciating. I know it’s irrational.

When Titus first said he was ready for a big boy bed, Michael was ready to move him over. I’ve been the hold up. I needed some time to prepare for this change. Upon seeing my distress, Michael suggested we just get another set of bunk beds to put in the boys’ room, but I know that’s not practical. I may not be ready for this change, but I guess it’s time to face it.



"When you are joyful, be joyful; when you are sad, be sad.  If God has given you a sweet cup, don't make it bitter; and if He has given you a bitter cup, don't try and make it sweet; take things as they come." ~ Shade of His Hand, 1226 Oswald Chambers