To the Core

I am not sleeping tonight. It's so hard. I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I am, but I miss him terribly. The ache is so heavy. 

I am glad that we do not grieve as those who have no hope, yet still...we GRIEVE. It bothers me to think of how deeply grief has changed our family. No longer carefree and innocent, I wonder if we will ever feel joy without the mingled sadness again. 

I'm so tired. Not from lack of sleep, though. No amount of sleep would overcome this tiredness. It is to the core of my soul. 

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your Word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious and teach me Your law. Psalm 119:28-29