Nearer My God to Thee

So, I didn't forget about the Tunes on Thursdays yesterday... It just got really crazy. :)  I thought about pulling in a song when I was up through the night but I really thought I would have time later in the day.  No dice.  So here I am on this extremely rainy morning, listening to one of my favorites and thinking about William.  Everything has become so hard.

Sometimes I really wonder if we'll make it through.  Grieving is such a hard process.  It runs deep and there isn't really a break from it.  I think it's hard for some Christians to understand because even though we do not grieve as those who have no hope, we do still grieve.  It may be different, but it's still very real and very powerful.  I know I will see William again, but I have still lost his childhood.  I have a lifetime ahead of me, however long that may be, without his sweet smile, his loving arms around my neck, his ornery playfulness.

More than one person has expressed confidence in my ability to grieve well.  Comments like, "Your faith is strong enough to get you through," or, "If anyone's faith can survive this, yours can..."  But the truth is, NO ONE is strong enough.  It just isn't possible.  The pain of grief is so overwhelming that the only way to survive is through the grace that God extends.  When I am overwhelmed, I must pull nearer to Him.  And many times that means in the quiet.  Maybe that's why I'm not sleeping.  I need the time with Him too much because I am so weak.  But thankfully, He is strong.

I know this is instrumental, but as I listen to it, my heart whispers the words...

Lyrics:

Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!
E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me,
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee! 

Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down,
Darkness be over me, my rest a stone;
Yet in my dreams I'd be
Nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee! 

There let the way appear, steps unto heaven;
All that thou sendest me, in mercy given;
Angels to beckon me
Nearer, my God, to thee;
Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee! 

Then, with my waking thoughts bright with thy praise, 

Out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise;

So by my woes to be

Nearer, my God, to thee;

Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

Or if, on joyful wing cleaving the sky,

Sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I fly,

Still all my song shall be,

Nearer, my God, to thee;

Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!