I find myself dreading holidays, even if we don't celebrate them. I don't know why I had such a dread for Mother's Day. I am, after all, still a mother. I think it's just because it's so hard to face any day, knowing that William will not be here to partake in it, but if it's any kind of a special day, well, that's just far too much.
As a side note, did you know that Mother's Day was originally instituted to remember and comfort mothers who were grieving the loss of their child? That's a far cry from where we are today.
As a side note, did you know that Mother's Day was originally instituted to remember and comfort mothers who were grieving the loss of their child? That's a far cry from where we are today.
The couple of weeks leading up to Mother's Day were sheer torture. Sleepless nights, waking up crying (I hadn't done that in awhile), crying daily, easy frustration, short temper, the desire to crawl into a hole... Finally, I could take it no more. When one of those emotions would creep up and threaten to overtake me, I would simply stop and think of one thing I was thankful for. Just one. And I would turn my mind to that one thing and dwell on that for awhile.
Before long, I started feeling like I was making it back to the new normal, instead of falling into the deep pit of grief despair. And the day turned out to be pretty wonderful.
Wallace was baptized. Is there anything greater than that?
Our church fellowship met in our home, which was extremely helpful for me to not have to actually leave my door. I know that sounds odd, but sometimes the thought of that is just more than I can take.
We had wonderful fellowship with dear friends into the evening.
And my children had a special surprise for me, which included a subtle memorial to William. I love how they are so careful of my feelings and really take care of and protect me. And how they make him a part of our celebrations. Our big moments. And our small ones.
Sometimes, it's the little things.
