We are staying pretty busy. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I feel so overwhelmed. But I can't seem to slow down and rest, either. That is also overwhelming.
I guess I expected that after a year of grieving, I would start to develop a new normal and things would kind of settle in. I guess in some ways that's happening. But I never dreamed how hard things would be.
How hard it would be to go to conferences and think about how much he would LOVE meeting new people and visiting new places.
How hard it would be to change out winter clothes and know that Wallace is wearing clothes he barely touched. Next year, I will need to purchase everything new for a 9 year old Wallace.
How hard it would be to keep up with daily tasks, feeling lost because of the things that no longer require my time.
How hard it would be to make small talk.
How hard it would be to deal with conflict.
How hard it would be to look at his picture...or not look at his picture.
How hard it would be to do life.