CAUSE ME TO HEAR: April 2019

Did you know I hate surprises? Seriously. There’s no such thing as a good surprise.

I don’t usually handle them well and even if I can somehow muddle my way through and not make it horrible, it’s awkward at the least.

I LOATHE being unprepared. For anything. I abhor being blindsided. It is one of the easiest, quickest ways to make me crazy.

Michael’s mother recently planned a surprise birthday trip for his father. It was a generous and sweet gesture and their children went with them to celebrate. They all had a wonderful time. The day they left, she told him to pack a bag. When he asked where they were going, she wouldn’t say. “What do I pack?” I think he was told to pack the same kind of clothes he would wear here. I stressed FOR him! I can’t even tell you how much I would’ve hated that. It’s entirely possible I would’ve planted myself. I begged Michael, “Please, please, don’t ever do that to me.” I am so glad his father enjoyed it but that’s not something I could do.

Recently, when we went to the Teach Them Diligently Conference, Michael attended a session by Catherine Zoller on the personalities God has given us and what to do with them. He came out super excited and was telling me all he learned about ME! 😂

Michael and I have done personality tests before. Yes, I’m a lion. Yes, I’m an INTJ. Yes, I score a 0 in physical touch. I know all of these things about myself but I have never put much stock in it.

But thanks to Mrs. Zoller I found out that I’m a choleric. If you don’t know what that is, I’ll explain it in a minute. But it gets even better than that. I’m a pure choleric, meaning I don’t have a blend to balance out my personality. Which is rare. You know what else is extremely rare? A FEMALE choleric. 😳 How’s that for an oddball?

Here’s what the website said about cholerics:

"Choleric literally means “yellow bile,” so people with a choleric temperament are quick to anger. They are the alphas of a group. They like to take leadership roles and make the rules. Cholerics account for less than 3 percent of the general population, but among women it's the rarest personality type.

Cholerics will say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done. They will tell it to you straight and speak their minds. They believe in brutal honesty and tough love. They have thick skins themselves. You’ll never see them crying.

Sign of a choleric temperament 1: Results-focused

Wants results and has the end game in mind. Always moving forward towards achieving goals and nothing gets in the way, even relationships.

Sign of a choleric temperament 2: Independent

Cholerics think for themselves and do not rely on others when making decisions. They have the confidence to forge ahead and are blunt and to the point. This makes it difficult for other people to get close to them. In fact, their personal lives and relationships can suffer because of this. They get bored easily because they like for things to move quickly.

Sign of a choleric temperament 3: Decision-makers

It is the choleric’s way or the High Way. There is no other way. You will never get this temperament type ceding decision-making to people beneath him. It is his decision that counts and there will be no negotiating when a choleric temperament is in the room.

Sign of a choleric temperament 4: Born Leaders

These types were born to lead, or at least, be in charge, They are assertive, strong-minded, believe in themselves and are confident. It is true, they do have some pretty negative traits as well. They do not like to be challenged. They will not listen and are not openminded.

However, in times of crisis, you want someone who is fearless and prepared to take the lead. And that is the choleric temperament.

Sign of a choleric temperament 5: Fighters

Talking of fearless, these types do not crack under pressure. In fact, it makes them stronger and more determined. They thrive in a good fight and will push hard to achieve their goals. So don’t pick a fight against a choleric temperament unless you have some serious ammunition.

Sign of a choleric temperament 6: Neglectful

Because choleric personalities are more interested in goals and achieving results, they do not invest time and energy into their relationships. This can include spouses and family members. Cholerics have no problem walking away or dropping relationships.

On the other hand, with choleric people, you know where you stand. They will let you know what they want and how they wish to proceed. If you win their trust and they view you as worthy, they are extremely loyal and very dedicated partners, and sensitive to the slightest sign of rejection."

You can find out your temperament at psychologia.com but chances are, you already know how you are. I did. These are things I've struggled with my whole life, more so since becoming a Christian. While it's interesting to discover personality types and recognize some of our traits in others, I think it's only helpful if we use it to overcome our sin nature. Because I know these things are my natural tendencies, I specifically fight the urge to give in to them. Sometimes I succeed better than others.

On the other side of that, the traits aren't all bad, all the time. They just have to be harnessed. Especially as a woman, I have really struggled with submission. Not because I did not want to submit, but because it isn't what came naturally. But thankfully, Michael's personality type and mine compliment each other's nicely and we have learned to balance each other out.

Which is one of the beauties of marriage, right? The two become one. Where one is weak the other is strong.

So even though I might work to put to death my flesh and be what God wants me to be, the natural leanings are still there. And that's important to realize in the lives of those we love. The surprise birthday trip was a blessing to Michael's father and he loved it. It would not have been a way to show love for me, nor would I have felt loved. So for that reason, maybe tests like these are moderately helpful.

I still like to be in total control of my world. Obviously, I've crashed hard on that one and learned that is more impossible than I had ever imagined. Every day I am working to give up that control to the One who actually has it.

We celebrated Sherrod's "adult" birthday last week. It's hard to believe. She's behaved like an adult for so long that it hardly seems possible she is only 18, in many ways mature and wise beyond her years.

Sherrod has a tender and sweet personality, very soft to the Spirit's calling. I love to see how compassionate and gentle she is but she's got some spice in there, too...😂

Between running her own business, assisting in another, helping to manage classes, studying for TRI (therapeutic riding instructor) certification, helping around the house, and the plethora of other things she finds herself involved in, she's one busy lady. She almost never sits still.

I enjoyed going through her pictures tonight. Here is a little peak into her personality...

Early years: