Birthday Season Begins

In our house we have birthdays in almost every month.  We miss May, June, and July, so we say our birthday season starts in August and continues through April.

Well, it's started!

We kick it off with Titus and Knox.

Since there is only one day in between their birthdays, they typically like to celebrate together.  I have always been a bit of a stickler on keeping individual birthdays separate and on the actual day, but as the children have gotten older I've let them take the reigns on that.  It's their birthday so if they want to double up or do it on a different day, that's fine.

This year Sarah was gone to Texas during both of their birthdays so they decided to wait until she returned to celebrate.  So sweet!

We had extra reason to celebrate, as we actually celebrated their birthdays on Grammy and Papa's 60th wedding anniversary!  What a blessing!

It was a crazy, chaotic night!  I couldn't get the boys to sit still for 2 seconds so LOTS of my pictures were somewhat blurry, but we made due...

The cake...

Birthday prayer...

Pure craziness...

Sibling time with Knox...

I don't know if anyone has noticed but me, but this blue striped shirt is Knox's favorite shirt.  Not only that, but all of the boys had one from William to Knox.  That is significant because, as Knox's favorite shirt, when he grew out of his there was another one waiting on him.  I don't know why he latched onto that shirt, but I could never get it out of the dryer fast enough.  I was so glad when he opened this shirt and immediately exclaimed, "This is my new favorite shirt!"  Interestingly, I have not seen the blue striped shirt since.  I have, however, seen the Hulk nearly everyday! 😂😂😂

Sibling time with Titus...

This boy...he is such a mix of ornery and sweet.  He can totally melt my heart in a second.  I know I have some work to do...😳

When we went around the table to tell what we were thankful for with each boy, it really made me think about how much things change.  I love that we take the time to do that, as it's not natural for me and I like that it makes me stop to think about it.

I miss William terribly and I can't help but feel his glaring absence even when there is something beautiful to celebrate.  There are so many ways that Titus reminds me of him, but mostly in the way he loves me - crawling into bed with me, wanting me in bed with him, wrapping those tiny arms around my neck or my leg, always feeling for me next to him, wanting me near him, or just telling me he loves me out of the blue.  I am so very thankful that he does that.  But it also is a constant and stark reminder of who's missing.

And, oddly enough, I've always thought that Knox looks the most like William.  And he's also such a deep, compassionate thinker.  So, we'll just say I fought back tears through this celebration.

It's strange to me how many of my moments now are both bitter and sweet, all at the same time.

I try really hard not to relate everything back to William but it's almost impossible not to.  Every celebration, every milestone, every change...they are all audacious reminders of the one who is no longer here.  I wonder if that will ever change?  Will I always feel his absence so keenly?  Will I always have trouble sleeping, coming into Thursday?

I sure wish William could've met this bundle of cuteness.  But oh, how he loved him already...