Happy Birthday, Sherrod!

So this beautiful lady is no longer a teen.  In some ways I'm surprised that the time has flown so quickly but in others it seems that she's been in her twenties for such a long time.  She's always been so mature.

We also got Sherrod a passport for her birthday.  She's going to Africa with Sydnee.  I know, I know...what were we thinking?!?!?! A very big part of me screams, "I DON'T KNOW!!!!" But the bigger part, the better part, looks at this capable and determined young woman who loves the Lord with her whole heart and wonders, "How could we do anything else but let her follow God's plan for her life?"

It wasn't a decision we took lightly.  Where she'll be at is hardly a technological hub.  In fact, she won't even have reliable electricity, much less internet or phone.  Not only does this mean that I will not be able to monitor her blood glucose on a 24-hr basis, but very likely she will not be able to, either.  At least not in the automatic way she is used to.  But she has been managing this disease for a very long time.  It's all she knows.  And she has had full charge of the management for many years now.  I only monitor to make myself feel better, not because she needs me in any way.  

One of the first words that comes to mind when I think of Sherrod is strength.  She has always had a strong personality.  And I don't mean in presentation.  She has a firm strength of character and is immovable when it comes to justice.  She understands what is right and will see to it that it is accomplished, as much as is within her power to do so.  She is also beginning to understand the burden of strength and what that means in being strong for others.  I love watching her in action...she has such a heart to serve.  She always has.  She definitely doesn't sit still for long! :) If she is not busy, she finds something useful to do and is not big on wasting time. She is sensitive to the Holy Spirit in recognizing her own sin and is quick to repent.  It's one of the many things I admire in her and brings great joy to my heart.

Sherrod is super quiet, but not shy.  She is not the kind of person to fight for attention and often gets "talked over" in a conversation.  She is easily overlooked because of this.  No one will get to know her by accident.  It has to be intentional.  I was a bit surprised this particular birthday, as we typically celebrate with family only but this time we had a couple of sweet friends who happened to join us.  They both participated in our "Birthday Thankfulness" tradition, even though they were caught completely unaware.  I was surprised at how well they both knew Sherrod.  It is good to see her opening up to others.  I am glad more people get to see what we see regularly.

She has an ornery streak that I just love.  She has the best sense of humor, with a little bit of a sarcastic whit.  :)  She's just plain fun!

Sibling pictures are always fun.  Although it was strange to celebrate without Abby, who is still out of state.  We'll be glad to have her home in the next month!

I ended up away from the house all day so she made her own birthday dinner.  When I commented on it, she shrugged it off and said, "I just made everything the way I like it." :)

Birthday Prayer

I don't even know what was going on here but I think everyone got in on the craziness to some degree...:)

I am so thankful for these days filled with these precious children.  

Captive

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us that we are to “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” So many sins in life could be more easily overcome if we practiced this command well. 

So many circumstances are beyond my control and I can let fear overwhelm me if I am not careful. Admittedly my mind runs away with me sometimes. The enemy whispers in my ear, “What if...?” At those times, I have to preach to my heart and remind myself of what I know to be true and not let fear take hold in my heart and mind. I have to remember that God doesn’t just allow events...He orchestrates them.  For His glory and my good.

So how do we reconcile that when something so unbelievably awful happens, like the death of a child? Trust Him. Believe His Word. And when we find ourselves untrusting and unbelieving, we pray, “Lord, help my unbelief.” And then we DO. Make the choice to trust and believe. Put action to faith. 

It’s important to remember that we are responsible for our thoughts. God has given us the ability to exercise control over our thoughts. He warned Cain to focus his mind on the right things, but Cain chose to dwell on the wrong things, which led to jealousy and murder. God calls us to change sinful behavior that does not honor Him. So often we try to change our behavior without renewing our mind. We have to be moldable, allowing the Spirit to change us (Romans 12:2). God tells us what things we are to think on in Philippians 4:8...those things which are good and true and noble. 

All of us are captives. Who will we be held captive to? Our wise and loving Creator or our own self will? Christ came to set us free from the power of sin and death. Through Him, I have the power to take control over thoughts that threaten to destroy.

Taking our thoughts captive is not always easy but it is always necessary. 

Background Music

 My friend, Melanie, wrote a blog post awhile back that I’ve been thinking on quite a bit lately. I’ve said that William’s death colors everything in my life, but she puts words to it in a better way than I can. Here is her post:

“Another bereaved mom wrote that she was better able to cope now than she had been a year ago.

And thanks to Facebook memories she had proof.

Several comments down a second mom wrote something that got me thinking-when, exactly, did Dominic’s loss move from the forefront to the background?

I’m not sure I can pinpoint a day or moment when I realized that sorrow was no longer ALL I feel and Dominic’s absence no longer ALL I see.

I remember when more experienced loss moms posted and talked about grief being gentler and quieter I thought that they were out of their minds.

How in the world would this breath-robbing, heart-stopping, crippling pain ever be anything close to “gentle”?

How could the pulsating, blasting, all-consuming noise of loss become softer?

In the first days, months and even years, everything about loss was so loud it was all I could hear.

Rock concert, standing-next-to-the-giant-speakers-loud.

So loud it shook my body and made me want to cover my ears.  There was no way to block the sound, no silent corner where I could retreat and hide.  Just relentless pounding noise and pain.

But little by little, in imperceptible increments the volume decreased.

Now, missing Dominic is the background music to everything.  A quiet tune I hum in my head that keeps me company all day and invades my dreams at night.

If I take a moment and pay attention or when other things quiet down, it moves again to the forefront.

My head and heart are never free of the music Dominic brings to my life.  He is the soundtrack to my days, the lullaby as I fall asleep.

No longer an ear-piercing scream demanding attention, grief is now mostly a quiet song in a minor key.  

Never silent.  

Always playing.” 

You can read more about grief and child loss on Melanie’s blog at https://thelifeididntchoose.com.

Be Mighty

William's birthday is just around the corner.  My order is somewhat behind schedule, but if you'd like a BE MIGHTY t-shirt, be sure to send me your order at OckerClan215@gmail.com.  These shirts will be the original logo on grey shirts, but please specify:

Short or Long Sleeves

Child, Adult, or Ladies cut

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says... I'll try again tomorrow.   -- Mary Anne Radmacher-Hershey

EPIC Wedding

You like that title? 😜 EPIC Productions did the photo/video for the wedding so I thought it was fitting since I've been waiting to do this post until we got everything back from the professionals. 😂

We are so grateful to our friend, Alex, who live streamed the wedding.  It was such a blessing to have so many join us who were not able to be there in person.  EPIC also filmed it so if you missed it live, here is an edited version from different camera angles:

The reception wasn't filmed, of course, but here are some of my favorite clips:

First dance

Ben's speech

Sydnee's speech

Benjamin's speech

I couldn't possibly begin to say all that I'd like to say about this young man.  He has been a beloved friend for many, many years.  It's been such a joy to watch him grow into the godly man of depth and maturity that he has become.  I will say this: he did not know he was going to be speaking.  He had about a minute and a half to come up with something!  He did a phenomenal job!

Mike's speech

Father/Daughter Dance

The one that's been circulating around FB was taken from someone's iPhone.  This one was taken by EPIC so it's clearer but it's the same dance. 😂

Mother/Son Dance

EPIC also did this super sweet compilation video that includes the love letters that Ben and Sarah wrote to each other.  It is such a treasure!

Fun things:

These girls crack me up!  I love how they are both the life of any party and you put them together and you get, well...this...

The ceremony was lovely.  We are all so grateful to Pastor Matt Harkey.  Perhaps one of our newest "near and dear" friends, we love the Harkey family!  Matt and Brachelle have both gone above and beyond and walked with our family through some really tough things over the 18 months that we've known them.  True Christian love in action!

We were so grateful that so much of our family was able to attend!

Some of the wedding party took dance lessons in the days leading up to the big day.  We had a lot of fun!

The rehearsal was a ton of fun!  After we ran through the basic logistics (which some got changed the morning of and caused some confusion with my little guys😂), we headed over to SBC for dinner and dancing.  Keziah and Micah taught us a couple of fun and interesting dances and we had a blast!

The day before the wedding was spent putting together flower arrangements, bouquets, and last minute decor.  That night some of us went out to dinner and stayed up WAAAAAY too late doing mani/pedis and watching Hitch.  But it was a really fun time!

This picture of Julia cracks me up!  She and Sarah are so much alike!  I can't even begin to put into words my appreciation for this girl. 💓 She might have written the book, "How to Be the Best Bridesmaid, Ever!"  Seriously though, she has been a dear friend to our family for a good number of years, but was a ROCK throughout this process.  She might have helped to save my sanity more than once...

Putting together the flower girl basket... (Sydnee and Selah removed appliqués from my wedding dress so I could use the material to line the basket, then we put the appliqués back on where we wanted them.)

One last prep picture, before the rings went on the pillows...I thought this was so neat!

So, there you have it...Sarah's dream wedding.  I think it was as close to everything she ever wanted that was within our power to do.