Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Morning Peace

It's so peaceful sitting out here in the morning, listening to the bells.

I like how the sun lights up the face in the morning.

And how my little buddy enjoys coming with me. :)

"Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing can make them stumble." Psalm 119:165

I find great comfort in this verse.  I know that I belong to the Lord.  My doubts, my fears, my questions...He handles them all and combines my sorrow with peace.  He doesn't remove the heartache, but He gives me a greater desire, a longing for Him...for heaven.  And He carries me.  It is still hard.  Harder than I could have imagined possible.

I still have to force myself out of bed a lot.  Force myself to participate in this world.  Force myself to look for the good.  Sometimes it's extremely hard to find.  I still cry a lot.  I still question God.  I still wonder about His goodness sometimes.

But I feel Him again.  And, more importantly, I know Him.  I know His character.  I know He loves me.  So even though I still feel like a rebellious, pouting child at times, I know He is a good and loving Father.

He pulls me close to Him and gives me strength to face another day without my little boy in my arms.  To put one foot in front of the other.  To face my fears.  To take another breath.  To try to find purpose and meaning.  To show love.  To care.  To try to find joy.