6 mo Update

I told Sarah that I wanted to post the update this week. She's been so faithful and has done a great job of keeping everyone in the loop. I'm grateful. But it's been a wild week and with hitting the 6 month mark, I just thought it was time. Even though I don't use the blog anymore, I chose to put it here because of those not on FB that I can just send the link to. It's just easier. And it's likely to get lengthy. :) It is hard to believe that just 6 months ago we were just going about everyday life. That just 6 months ago today we were enjoying a family dinner, completely clueless of how our world was about to change. It's crazy how something like this can hit completely out of the blue. Which is just a reminder that, no matter how much we think we are or how much we wish to be, we are not as in control as we would like.

There really isn't much to update in the way of the glioblastoma. Selah traveled with us to Duke this time. It was sweet to have her there. We would like to take all the children with us but it just hasn't worked out. But she enjoyed going and sitting in on the doctor's appointment. They are still working to get the swelling down. He will repeat the MRI in a couple of weeks so we can see how treatments are working.

We also had a big decision to make regarding travel. Last year, Selah won an all-inclusive trip for 2 to the Bahamas that she added a 3rd onto so that the three of us could go together. All we had to do was get to West Palm Beach. We really deliberated about going. It's so hard to make these decisions in the midst of all this turmoil. It's interesting how the timing worked out. When the dates were set, we had no idea that we would be here, now. And we didn't try to schedule Duke around it. But it worked out that instead of flying home from Duke, we just flew to PBI and took the trip from there. Talk about timing. It was nerve-wracking to plan this one. We can't rely on what Michael wants to do because it changes from day to day. Or even how he feels because that changes by the minute. But we decided that he won't likely have the opportunity to take Selah on her 21st birthday trip (a tradition he's done with the children) so we took this blessing and made the most of it.

He said the highlight of the trip was feeding the sea turtle Nutter Butters while we were swimming with pigs. :)

I'm so glad he had a good time! Not that it was all sunshine and roses. There were definitely some trials but we made it through and made some great memories. Travel is becoming harder and harder for him and I'm not even sure how the Duke trips will continue to work out. We will have to see.

We had the opportunity to dress up and that was fun! Of course, when we went out to the beach it rained on us! Haha! It was the only time we got rained on the whole trip. Our hair fell flat but we had a great time!

He still had assignments to do from his occupational therapist and he was able to put this lego car together all by himself. It took him the better part of the day but it was quite the accomplishment. Another big highlight for him, of course, was all the people he got into conversations with. Especially one of our taxi drivers who loves America and they spent the entire 30 minute drive discussing God's goodness and the American political climate. As is always the case, I am so thankful for God's providence and His care over even the littlest details of our lives. Michael needed this trip and the timing of it, though a bit stressful, couldn't have been better. It was a great deterrent to keep his mind off the fact that he was coming home with no job. That's been a very difficult thing for him to get through. His short term disability ends on Monday and he will be officially separated from his company. That's not an easy thing for a man who has done the same thing for 45 years. It's been his purpose and his identity. Even though he understands his greater purpose, to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever, it's still been difficult to let go of his work. Many tears have been shed. Even his occupational therapist cried. We had gone to his office to clean out his personal items right before therapy on Friday and his entire session was spent talking about his work and what he could do with his time, as he's so limited in his abilities right now. It amazes me how the pendulum swings back and forth. While we were at his office, a coworker came in and they carried on a 2 minute conversation. Michael's speech was clear and confident and I sat there, amazed, thinking he sounded like nothing had ever happened. It's a gift to get those little glimpses. They don't last long but they are precious. Michael is tired. He hates chemo and it's very hard on him, both physically and mentally. He also wants to start cutting back on therapies. For the past 6 months, we've travelled almost every week day, either to OKC or Tulsa, for some therapy or treatment of some sort. He wants to cut that back to one day a week. This is where it becomes difficult as a caregiver. I covet prayers for wisdom in his care, along with prayers for miraculous healing. Many people want to know how we're doing. The only answer I really know how to give is...we are thankful. God has been so kind to us in so many ways. We are thankful to have such a faithful husband and father. We are thankful to have more time with him. We are thankful to be able to care for him in his need, as he has done for us for so many years. We are thankful for the Lord's provision through a great company and through faithful family and friends. We are thankful that He carries us when it is too hard to press on.

A New Milestone

We've made it to a point I never imagined I would arrive at. Yesterday marked 3,115 days without our sweet William on this earth. The same number of days we were blessed to have him here. So this day, and every day from here, marks a different kind of time for me. I don't know why it hits so sharp that I've lived through the same amount of time without him that I did with him, but it does. We could not have possibly spent this past weekend in any better way than we did...surrounded by godly people, seeking Him, seeking to grow in Him, seeking to please Him, seeking to spend our lives in devotion to Him. What a sweet and refreshing time of encouragement and fellowship! This year's Church and Family Life conference, Making Disciples - At Home, In the Church, and Around the World, was such a beautiful reminder of the duties God calls us to. It was sweet to be together, learning and growing. And remembering.

2023 New Year Letter

Happy new year, dear friends and family!  It's been quite awhile since I've written a new year's letter.  I feel a bit rusty, but here goes.

Is it just me, or do the years seem to get shorter each time around? 😊  This year has been a whirlwind of activity and travel...two trips to Florida and Missouri, one trip each to North Carolina, Texas, Tennessee, and Mississippi, and multiple trips to Arkansas.  These homebodies are ready to be home for a bit.

2022 was a year that brought so, so much joy, yet tempered with much sorrow.  We reveled in the baptisms of our 5 youngest children last year.  There is truly no greater joy than to see our children walking with the Lord! It was also such a joy to have so many saints from many different fellowships come together to celebrate with us!   

We also grieved the difficult loss of Sherrod and Alex's daughter, Blessing, who went to rest with the Lord in June.  While I am so very thankful for the many blessings and victories the Lord brings, it is through the hardships, trials, and sorrows that I most receive His grace and comfort, where His presence is most keenly felt, where I grow in my faith and walk with Him.

We saw God's hand of protection in so many ways last year, but the one that stands out to me the most was Sarah's surgery in June.  We were incredibly blessed and thankful to hang out at the hospital with Katie throughout the surgery.  The children came up and played as well (sadly, we are no strangers to hospitals).  Not even 5 minutes after they left the parking lot, Mike and I were still at the hospital when it was put on lock down for the active shooter situation that left 4 dead.  It was a strange and stressful time, for which I am ever-grateful for a husband who is a diligent and wise protector.  Unfortunately, our floor staff did not know how to properly lock down and nearly caused a panic by keeping it quiet and putting our group behind a glass wall and door.  My husband nonchalantly asked a nurse about another room and moved Katie and I to a safe location until we were sure to be out of danger.  Sarah and Ben were in a safe location elsewhere.

One of the best things we did as a family last year was read the Bible through in chronological order.  It opened the door for many questions and a greater understanding for all.  We have never done this as a family but it was so thoroughly enjoyed, I'm hoping to make it an every 3 or 5 year plan.

When I asked the children what happened last year, several of them replied, "There were no weddings!"  Hahaha!  Two weddings the year before kept us pretty busy but oh, what we gained! 💜

Wallace, Calvin, Knox, Adelina, Titus, and Andrew are quite taken with karate.  Elly took for the better part of the year but has had to let something go, so karate it was.  Wallace and Calvin competed in their first tournament and it was an eye-opening experience for them.  They both really enjoyed it!  Knox is eagerly awaiting the time when he can compete.  His sensei is very careful with them (thankfully) and wants his students to know how to defend themselves before competing. 💜 Knox is hoping to compete this year.

Bryce and Laci are enjoying his retirement from the Air Force. He is the only inspector in the state for new water plant construction and she is on the last leg of her doctorate in psychiatry. Hayden enjoys boxing and Payton loves animals. They are all glad to be back in Arkansas.

Sarah and Ben live in Tulsa. She loves staying home and caring for Katie. Katie is a little ray of sunshine and everyone absolutely adores her.

Abby took a job riding reigning horses, which she excels at. However, she has a wild hair to do something very different during this year.

Sydnee ran a successful garden last year (and all the canning) and runs the goats and chickens almost singlehandedly. She is also my right hand and invaluable in the home.

Sherrod and Alex are expecting again! What a joy! They've also broken ground on their home in Arkansas and are looking forward to being in it soon.

Elly is working in the physical therapy field and loves it! She is very rarely home between work, tech school, and college classes and when she is, she's studying.

Selah loves teaching piano and is a sports photographer for the local paper. Most of her college classes were on campus last semester but she definitely prefers online classes.

Wallace enjoys working with his hands. I describe to him what I'd like then he designs something and builds it. He's currently working on a playset. The recent project:

Calvin shot his first deer! He has the mind of an engineer and likes to know how things work. He's constantly coming up with some new mechanical something (or taking something apart).

Knox loves all things science. He's very interested in marine biology, likes to build Legos, and often has his nose in a book.

Adelina likes to paint, craft, and bake. She really enjoyed running her own booth at several markets last fall. Her baked goods were always a hit!

Titus and Andrew are two peas in a pod! They do everything together. Both boys are very happy to be good readers and be able to participate in reading their Bibles aloud during family worship. They like swimming, biking, and playing with Legos.

We took the family to Florida in December to fulfill a promise we made in 2015, after William's Make a Wish trip, to go back and swim with the dolphins when everyone was old enough.  We were only missing Bryce's family (I'm pushing for a full-family gathering next year).  I had grand dreams of a beautiful beach picture to send out and to hang on the mantle, but we ended up "Frozen in Florida!"

THE TRIP:

Katie got to experience her first airplane ride!

The rest of us drove down together.  Driving back, I asked everyone what their favorite part of the trip was.  Several people said they enjoyed the trip down and had a lot of fun together! 💜

Our first stop was New Albany, Mississippi.  We had the great blessing of fellowshipping with the saints at Christ Church.  What a joy!  It's been a long time since we attended a church that practices the regulative principle of worship and it was comforting.  This is the church where John Snyder pastors, which is what caused us to stop here on our way.  We've long enjoyed his "Behold Your God" series and recently purchased his series on the book of Judges.  Can't wait to start it!  The saints here were so incredibly welcoming and full of joy! It was a great start to the trip!

The next day we stopped at Three Sisters Springs along the way.  There were several people swimming with the manatees but the water was far too cold for me to let the littles in (that, and we weren't at our house yet so wet clothes would've been a nightmare) so we settled for watching the manatees from the beach.  I think we counted 7.  It was still a neat experience!

We made it to the resort with a day to play before all the busy started!

We played miniature golf at the resort and had THREE people get a hole-in-one! 😮

Lots of fun playing games and swimming...  I can't believe I didn't get a picture of Tracy and her family but we thoroughly enjoyed seeing them a few times over the trip!  Carson and the little boys had a great time together!

DISCOVERY COVE

This was the main reason for the trip.  When we went in 2015, Calvin, Knox, Adelina, and Titus were all too young to swim with the dolphins - and I was pregnant with Andrew!  

The family in 2015 at Discovery Cove

The family in 2022 at Discovery Cove

Group 1 in 2015

Group 1 in 2022

Group 2 in 2015

Group 2 (girls) in 2022

The full Group 2 in 2022

Swimming with dolphins (left 2015, right 2022)

New swimmers with dolphins 2022

With the dolphin

Swimming with dolphins

SeaVenture, underwater adventure (Mike, Knox, Adelina)

Swimming with Sharks (Elly and Calvin)

Having fun swimming with the rays...

Diving down to the incredibly large ray on the bottom

Having fun in the lazy river, the aviary, and the animal trek...

Sarah, Ben, and Katie got to visit the Zoo and the Chocolate Factory

Sydnee, Sherrod, Alex, and Adelina went to Sea World

Wallace, Calvin, Knox, and I went to Universal and Islands of Adventure

Us in 2022

The family at the same spot in 2015

2022

2015 - I love how Calvin got into character with the flying pose!

2022

2015

We had a great time!  Mike and the little boys played at the resort, while Abby, Elly, and Selah volunteered at Give Kids the World - of course, no pictures! 😟

The other goal of the trip was to revisit Give Kids the World.  For our last day in Orlando, we all got to go hang out at GKTW for the day and later, several of our group volunteered to finish out the day.

This was the wish tower in the Castle of Miracles in 2015 when William put his star up.

This is what the wish tower looks like now.  They've even had to add a whole other room for new stars! I couldn't figure out how to post it here but if you go to my Facebook page, there's a neat video of all the stars in the castle.

This is what William's star looks like.  The children are supposed to write their names on the stars before handing them over to be put up in the tower.  He didn't go by "Will" but we wanted him to to as much of the writing on his own as he could, so we stuck with (mostly) straight lines. 💜

This is a close up of his star when they put it up.

This is where his star is at today.  It is 10 stars over from the cupcake.  Alex highlighted William's star so it would be easier to pick out. 💜

We had a hard time finding William's star at first but once we found it, what sweet joy it brought.  He was so excited when it went up!  It was incredibly bittersweet to be there.  I love this photo where Alex highlighted William's star so it really stands out.  Beautiful!

We had a great time hanging out in the Castle of Miracles!

The children in 2015 in the Castle of Miracles:

I loved this photo of Selah holding Katie up to the "magic mirror." There's nothing there until you put your face in the oval, then a princess appears.  Princess Katie 💜

And here is Princess Selah in 2015. 💜

Most of the 2022 group in the Castle.

2022 group at Cafe Clayton

2015 group at Scoops

The house where we stayed in 2015 (both sides, of course😜).

Just having some fun...

At the Candyland playground in 2015

At the Candyland playground in 2022.  I'm sure they were quite glad I didn't make them lie on the ground in the sun!

The ice cream parlor is a big deal at GKTW.  Their theme is "Ice Cream for Breakfast," which is why we do that for William's birthday each year.  This was the one disappointment from GKTW for me.  They tore down the old building and built this new one.  It's now called Henry's Starlite Scoops and is space-themed.  I'm sure it's wonderful for new familes, but I missed the old one.  Here is the 2022 version:

Scoops in 2015:

The volunteers...Mike, Elly, Wallace, and Calvin at Cafe Clayton; Selah and Alex at the carousel; Abby at Amberville (the game room); and Ben at Amberville (the rides).

Sydnee "helped" Abby in the game room...

We had one day together at the beach.  ONE.  And only one, as Sarah's family flew out early the next morning and the beach was a good distance from Orlando.  The plan was to have a bright, warm day filled with sunshine where we would take pristine photos that would go out on New Year's cards and a big one for the mantle, then play in the water and build sandcastles for the rest of the day while Katie experienced her first trip to the ocean.  Ha!  I think Florida had their coldest day in history this day.  The beach was completely empty, of course, because sane people knew better than to trek out by the water in ice cold sand with the bitter wind blowing coldness from the ocean right at us that made it feel 50 times colder!  Who knew Florida even had wind?  I think we brought Oklahoma's wind with us!  I'm sure they were glad to see us go! 😜

We hung around the house most of the day since the weather said the warmest part of the day would be around 4pm.  I think we got to the beach around 4:15 and were gone by 4:30!  I gave a "pep talk" in the car about being quick and of course it didn't turn out like I said. 😳 Something was said to one person, which was misinterpreted by another, which led to a 3-ring circus of confusion and a couple of children crying from being cold.  But the Ocker clan isn't one to give in to hardship. 😂😂😂 We pressed on and ended up with these 2 shots.  Sydnee and I do not have our hair up.  The wind is blowing it straight behind us (or up...I think Alex may have fixed that for us😜).

When Mike saw the beach picture, he said, "Knowing what we went through, that's a good picture." 😂

Even though I closed the blog last year and don't really intend to continue writing, I thought it would be good to post the TON of pictures here and not inundate FB with them.  Also, not all of our family is on FB so this seemed to be a better way of sharing (and maybe giving a good laugh).  We had to laugh at our own circumstances.  We went home from the beach to hot chocolate and blankets and games.

The very next day...a yucky bug hit us!  Everyone eventually ended up getting some version of it except Andrew.  I was so happy to find Zoboomafu for the littles.  Although it was never my intent to spend our beach house time watching TV, sometimes you have to adjust!  It was just another reminder that we make our plans, but it is the Lord who directs our steps.  He knows what we need better than we do.  So we continue to trust Him, even when (or especially when) our plans don't quite work out. 😍

Lots of games...very little sand time!

One day, Mike, Sydnee, and I took the only non-sick people to play at the beach.  It was still pretty chilly and we mostly had the beach to ourselves but the children had fun.

Sydnee found a jellyfish!

Sydnee also found a sea urchin!

Finally!  The next to the last day we were there, we had a warm day at the beach! (But of course, we stayed so long it turned chilly again around sunset!)

This shell looks like a purple butterfly. 💜

The boys 💙

The girls 💖

The littles 💜

The "children" 💜

We spent our last day at Legoland.  This park was a first for us and it was so much fun!

At the entrance

I couldn't get back far enough to get the whole dragon. 😜

I mean, Star Wars... 💜

The first two-tiered carousel I've ever seen.  Of course they wanted the top!

Andrew wasn't "technically" tall enough for this ride but his hair was sticking up and touched the line. 😂 He was so glad they let him on.  They all loved this ride!  (It was the only ride at Legoland with a height requirement that Andrew was under.)

The pirate stunt show was fun!

Our little princess next to the Lego princess.

Kid-powered towers - they pull themselves up then let themselves drop.  They raced to the top!

We met Tracy and her family at Legoland.  I still can't believe we didn't think to get a picture! 😡 Ugh.  And Elly and Selah were disappointed because we ALWAYS get a picture of them with Tracy.  It's tradition.  I'm going to blame illness brain for throwing us off.  Anyway...this ride had not opened to the public yet while we were there but season pass holders could preview it.  We got to join in with Tracy and her family so this is the closest I got to a picture.  And the ride was relaxing and enjoyable!

At the playcenter...

In line for the Ninjago ride...

We had the most fun on the Lego: The Movie ride!

We did get the opportunity to meet up with my sister, Michelle, and her family on this trip. 💜

And we got to meet up with Bryce and his family on the way home. 💜

Because we are Ockers and crazy, we celebrated the new year on Friday night when we got home from our trip at like 9pm.  But that was the only time Sarah could be with us.  I need to be better about just being fine with doing things without older children but I'm not there yet.  So we pushed through and everyone was dragging and it wasn't anything like our typical celebration. 😳

We all agreed that 2 weeks is definitely too long to be away from home and it should never happen again. 😂😂😂

We’re so grateful for sweet friends who took care of everything while we were gone. Our little farmette requires constant care! 😳 Add in the frozen well, busted pipe, burned out lizard light, and saving Bandit’s life…they were incredibly busy!  The day after we got home, Bandit started having seizures and we ended up at the emergency vet for New Year’s Eve! 😳 He is doing well now, though. I cannot stress enough how very thankful we are for friends who both saved him and cared for him while we were gone. He tends to think he’s bigger than he is and our big dog reminded him that he’s not. 🙄

Then Selah and I turned around and jumped on a whirlwind flight to Washington to go to a friend's wedding in Idaho! 😳 Congratulations, Kenny and Abi! (Again, I can't believe I didn't think to get a picture!) But we enjoyed visiting with the Nelsons!

Now we're home and things are going to slow down, right? 😂😂😂

It is our hope and prayer that 2023 finds you closer to the Lord than ever before.  May you know His steadfast love and boundless grace.  And may you rest in His goodness always.

Come you weary heart now to Jesus

Come you anxious soul now and see

There is perfect love and comfort in your tears

Rest here in His wondrous peace

Oh the goodness, the goodness of Jesus

Satisfied, He is all that I need

May it be, come what may, that I rest all my days

In the goodness of Jesus.

~ from the song, The Goodness of Jesus, by CityAlight